note to self 09.19

i've always been one to be outgoing. first one to start up conversation. make the first ad lib joke. damnit i'm a fuckin ENFJ according to meyers and bringgs. i get it from both my mom and my dad. im made to interact and talk to people. make friends. make connections. feel welcomed. show enthusiasm.

... but lately its been the exact opposite. i only care about the friends i can count on my hands. i want to show them that i truly appreciate them as friends. i feel like i havent been able to show them because i'm so busy trying to do everything else. i want to focus on myself. i want to become the best i can be before showing it to anyone else. or maybe i just dont feel 'good enough' in anything to show myself anymore.

well thats enough vomit blogging for now. til next time